"Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future"
Himself. Someone asked me the other day how I felt about him. I'd been blowing off steam about the problems we're having and she said to me "Are you happy?". No, not happy but it's more about situation than a specific person. Himself is downright frustrating. He becomes more and more like his father every day - which is a bad thing trust me! He's selfish, self centred, can't take criticism, won't take responsibility for his own actions, untidy, uncommunicative, lazy about some things, infuriatingly macho (he actually turns the tv over if a character cries - and almost splutters if that character happens to be a guy) etc. But he's also grounded when I'm flying off the handle (unless it's at him which isn't often), caring, concerned, fun, a great dad, a conscientous provider (I think I spelled that wrong), and loyal.
He is far from perfect and my guess is that 99% of the female population would not stand for a fraction of what I put up with but I do sometimes try to see things from his perspective and wonder if maybe I overreact or aren't as good as I think I am - or maybe I'm becoming just like his mother. People think it's atrocious the way she is at his fathers beck and call. But she's happy - and ultimately if she's happy then what's the big deal.
No, I'm not happy but our situation is fraught with financial trauma at the moment and I think THAT'S what I'm unhappy about, not the relationship itself. It could use some gloss and a bit of surgical work but that's an ongoing thing. I love him - and I love our kids which is just as important.
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